What do you wish you knew before coming to the United States?
Over 10 years ago I made my first journey out of my home country to a land over 1000 miles away. I had always dreamed of coming to the United States and when I was finally offered a chance to come here, I was overly excited. Like most foreigners, my only knowledge of the United States was through the movies, news, and TV shows which depict the United States as the most pristine, perfect place on earth. We were seldom shown the struggles of living in the country. Therefore, most of us come to the United States with a certain ‘perfect life’ expectation.
Here are the 12 things I wish I knew before I came to the United States
High Standards of Living
Isn’t life expensive in the United States? I remember the first time I went shopping at the mall and saw the price tag of a simple t-shirt is $30. I quickly converted dollars into my local currency and was like no way! I would buy 10 t-shirts with this money back home. It took a couple months before I started purchasing stuff for more than $30. It was just too pricey for me, also considering I was surviving on a student budget at the time. I even remember I once asked a friend to buy me some clothes back on his trip back to my home country.
Back home we had second hand markets that sold clothes at very fair prices that were affordable to almost all people of all walks of life. Although there are some second hand stores in the United States, the prices are still fairly high for someone who has just moved to the United States.
Car Dependency
Unless you live in major big cities like New York, Washington DC, Boston, etc., having a car is almost always a necessity.
I first got my drivers license after graduating from college. Why did you not get it early you may ask? I just did not need it in my home country. In the United States, kids age 16 are already driving their own cars. I was surprised when I first arrived in college and almost all the students had cars. I will admit it was a little embarrassing to mention you did not know how to drive. Most of the students just did not understand how a college going 19 year old cannot drive. Having to explain the difference in cultures in different parts of the world is a whole tiring job in itself.
Thankfully, there was a bus route close to my school which I used whenever I wanted to go somewhere. It was free to use which was a bonus for me. I could have learned to drive early on but the thought of having the cost of maintaining a car including car insurance deterred me from that route until I was financially fit to buy a car. So I did not even bother to learn driving.
Most shopping centers in the United States are sectioned further away from residential areas and you will most likely need a car or bus to get from one point to another. Walking is an option but you may be walking for at least 30 minutes to get to the closet shop, mostly if you live in the rural areas. While this is feasible, it becomes very challenging in the winter when temperatures are very low or in the summer when the heat is over the roof. Some roads also have no sidewalks which makes it very dangerous to walk with ongoing traffic.
Individualistic Culture
Growing up, everyone in the village knew each other. You have run out of salt while making dinner, no worries. Just run to your neighbor. In the United States, you will live in an apartment for years without ever knowing your immediate neighbor. Back in Kenya people would sit outside in the evenings, chat and mingle while the kids all played together. Meanwhile, here in the US, we tend to just keep to themselves and don’t interact much with their neighbors.
Loneliness
There are 5 stages of adjusting to a new place:
- Honeymoon stage
- Culture shock stage
- Adjustment
- Isolation
- Acceptance and integration
When I first arrived in the United States I was overly excited. Everything was going very well until about four weeks in my stay. I was struck with loneliness I have never felt before in my life. Suddenly I wanted to go back home to my family. I cried every single day for a couple weeks. I just felt alone and did not know how I would make it in this country alone. If you are already aware of this emotional transition, you will be well prepared to face it.
Healthcare is so Expensive
If you’ve been enjoying free or cheap healthcare in your home country, forget about it once you get in the United States. Healthcare is so expensive here. In fact, high healthcare bills are the number one reason people would consider taking money out of their retirement accounts or filing for bankruptcy. If you are in the United States for a short time, you may be inclined to avoid health insurance for one reason or another. Most colleges in the United States require students to have health insurance. When I was an international student, I had two options, to enroll in an insurance coverage plan provided by the school or provide proof of coverage from another source and get the mandated school planned waived.
For an international student who was only allowed to work a maximum of 20 hours a week, on a minimum wage, the school insurance plan was very expensive for me. I always shopped around for international student health insurance plans to get the school plan waived.
Having health insurance is very important. Healthcare costs are very costly when you don’t have health insurance coverage. It is also imperative to take good care of your body. If you have health insurance, take advantage of the fully covered annual checkups. Don’t wait until you need to see a doctor to visit one.
British English is so Foreign
This makes me laugh every time. I was glad to have a very nice roommate my freshman year of college. This really helped in my transition in the United States as other international students had some nightmare stories with the roommates. I remember asking my roommate the first day on campus where the paper bag was to put in the rubbish bin. She looked at me like I was crazy.
‘What did you say? I’m sorry I don’t understand what you just said.’
I was sure I was speaking English then it hit me that I was in America and not Kenya.
I honestly did not know the American equivalent of the words. So I had to demonstrate to her.
`The thing you put in the stuff you want to throw away?’
Oh…you mean the trash can?
Sometimes I wish there was one universal way of communication because you have to adjust to every new environment you go.
But again I remember life won’t be interesting if everyone and everything was the same.
Tipping is a Must or is it Not?
In the United States, you are expected to tip for most services; restaurants, hairdresser, cab driver, etc. Usually, 15% is the standard, but you can do 18-25% of the total bill or a custom tip as you see fit. If you’re eating out at a fast food restaurant or a restaurant with self-service, tipping isn’t required.
While tipping is not mandatory in the United States, lack of tipping may be considered rude or unappreciative as most servers depend on tips as an essential part of their wage.
Avocado is Extra
Avocado or guacamole just elevates food on another level. But in the United States, you will pay extra for this added piece of delicacy. When I first went to a Chipotle Mexican grill, I was surprised to be told guacamole was extra. Why? I know most of you in the United States would agree with me that guacamole is what makes Chipotle Chipotle. However, let me say that I wish it was included in the cost but I would pay for it because it’s guacamole.
Not all holidays are holidays
I was surprised to find out that Easter Monday is not an official public holiday in the United States although it is a state holiday in some states. Therefore, expect to go attend class or report to work. In Kenya, I always looked forward to April because we got two extra days off; Good Friday and Easter Monday. Only Good Friday is observed in the United States.
Summer is Scorching Hot
I knew it got freezing cold in the United States but never knew how hot the summers get. I grew up watching all the famous western movies: The Grinch, Home Alone, etc. and it was always a wintery adventure. I therefore had this notion that the United States was fairly cold. I first arrived in the United States in August when the heat was at the peak. I had my warm coat on expecting a cold weather but to my surprise, I was hit by the hottest air I have ever felt in my life.
Credit is Important
In the United States, credit scores are used to determine a person’s credit worthiness. When you have a credit card or a loan, your debt and bill payment history is reported to credit bureaus which is used to calculate your credit score. A credit score can impact the ability to get a loan or rent an apartment. Sometimes, credit checks are a required part of a job application. Credit scores can also be used to determine the deposit on an apartment or utilities services, among other things.
In Kenya, people pay cash for everything. Therefore, credit scores were a mystery to me until I came to the United States. Knowing this early on would have helped me to start building my credit early.
What do you wish you knew before coming to the United States?
People are ‘Too Nice’
When I arrived in the United States I was surprised at how friendly and polite people were. Everyone I locked eyes with smiled back at me and I just wondered, ‘Wow! People are so nice here.’ However, I quickly came to realize that just because someone smiles at you does not necessarily mean they really like you. Most of the time they are just being polite. If you happen to mistake it for friendship and extend the courteous smile to a conversation, you are more likely to get frowned upon.
You Will Have to Repeat Yourself a Lot and Vice versa!
Most of the immigrants who come to the United States speak English very well. This is usually received as a surprise by most Americans. I used to get the ‘You speak English so well’ statement from most of my classmates which I found to be really ignorant to be honest. However, with time you learn to respond to such ignorance in proper ways.
You will have to repeat yourself a lot, especially the first couple months. In addition to having an accent, I sometimes found myself using some of my native slang during conversations or using British English, like chips instead of fries, which threw off most people. However, don’t be ashamed. It’s okay to speak with an accent. You will also encounter some American slang you are not familiar with – especially if, like most immigrants, you studied British English.
You will, more likely than not, be less articulate here than you were at home, and this can last for years if not decades. If you came here after age 16 or so, your accent will probably stay with you for a long time, most likely forever.
What Americans Consider Humor
When I was in college, I remember a professor made a joke that I found to be particularly funny. Funny enough, no one else in class found it funny. I was the only one laughing. Similarly, there are times I didn’t find some jokes to be funny but the rest of the class would be cracking up. You will find that American humor may not seem funny to you, likewise, your attempts to be humorous might not be received favorably.
There are also areas that you should never make fun of. Be particularly careful with jokes ridiculing someone’s race, gender, or sexual orientation. This is considered discrimation and may land you in deep trouble.
Not Everyone is Educated
Some of the people you will interact with in the United States will not be familiar with some facts you consider basic. Even to this day some people still ask questions that I consider, arrogant, ignorant, awkward or downright stupid. For example, some assume that just because I’m from Africa that i’m poor or we still live in the jungle and don’t wear clothes.
Pets are second to children
Pets for Americans are more like children and less like animals. They are entitled to proper care, including professional medical care, and upkeep. Yes, having a pet in America is expensive. Don’t get a pet unless you are in a good position to properly take care of it. I have always wanted a dog, but I don’t think I’m in a better position to have one at the moment. Hopefully I will in the near future.
Don’t Be Dependent on People
Not to depend on people: Keep your expectations low and don’t count a lot on people to help you in difficult times. Always have a plan A, plan B and plan C. Some people might help you occasionally in an emergency but not always. Growing up in Kenya, you could live in a relative’s house without expectation of paying back, in the United States, you will have to contribute to your stay. Life is expensive.
It’s culturally acceptable here to “kick” an 18 year old out of the house as they are considered adults. If still living with parents past age 18, kids are expected to pay rent. In Africa there’s no age limit. In my culture, it is not uncommon for a child to leave the parent’s home until they are married.
Do Not Speak to Stranger’s Kids
I remember when I arrived in the United States, was seated across a 5 year old kid and her mum. She was playing with a minnie mouse toy she wanted me to see it. In my African head, I thought I was being polite and told her ‘that’s a really cute toy’. I got a really bad stare from her mum. She quickly stood, grabbed her daughter and moved to a different seat. I was so confused as to whether I said something wrong. If I had known this earlier I could have easily avoided that awkward encounter.
Avoid Racking Up Debt
You may need a credit card to build credit but do not use it to build debt. Once you get ingrained in the American culture, you may go overboard on your lifestyle and come to regret it later. Most of us immigrants who grew up outside the United States most likely had a difficult life growing up. Personally, I didn’t grow up in a wealthy family. Therefore, once you start making some good money and life going well for yourself, you might feel the urge to splurge on your lifestyle to make up for what you missed growing up. This may lead you to rack up debt. Live within your means. Take your time before making a large purchase.
Shop around for the best deal
What I like about the United States is there are unlimited opportunities. You just have to know where to find them. Take your time to shop around for the best deals. If you see something, be sure there is a cheaper maybe better option somewhere. I grew up wearing second hand clothes. If you want to save money, make thrift stores your best friend. Look out for holiday deals. Shop around for apartments deals, look for scholarships, utilize coupons for groceries and gas. You can never miss a deal. Had I started this sooner, I would have saved myself a ton of cash. I make more money now but I still shop for deals.
Choose the Right Career Path
While education is important, it is only good when done right. If there is one thing that is overly praised and makes parents in Africa proud is education. It doesn’t matter what the degree is in. What matters is a village child has graduated. However, your choice of education path mostly determines your career path. Choose a degree which will give you many career options. Especially if you are an international student. It is very stressful to graduate only to find out you cannot get a job.
Start Investing Early
Had I started investing early, I would probably be somewhere in my vacation home in Malibu. If you are reading this today, do not wait to start investing. You can start with your employer 401k, 403b, IRAs, index funds, etc. However, remember to diversify. Otherwise you will be risking your investments.
Income Taxes
So you make 100k a year? A big chunk of that will be deducted for federal taxes, state taxes (with the exception of some states), etc. The higher your salary is, the higher the tax bracket you will be in and the more taxes will be taken out. Failure to pay taxes will land into serious problems. Always file your taxes before the deadline.
The first time I filed taxes, my heart dropped. I owed quite a significant amount. Not enough taxes were withheld from my paycheck through the year. I was not quite familiar with withholding and didn’t properly claim the right deductions. The good rule of thumb is to work out your deductions so you don’t overpay or underpay. And again, don’t even think of not paying taxes to Uncle Sam. They will find you.
Hollywood Lies
You know how in the movies we are only shown the beautiful skyscrapers, perfect roads, beautiful mansions, luxury cars, etc.? While this is true to some extent, this is not how an average American lives or how every city in America looks. There are also people living in sheer poverty, pothole filled roads, and trashy cities. I was dumbfounded the first time I got in the New York subway. I wasn’t mentally prepared to see the biggest rats I have seen in my life. So, come with an open mind. Nothing is perfect.
What do you wish you knew before you came to the United States?
